Why being a "millennial mom" is so hard

I’m constantly seeing the quote, “imperfection is beauty.” While I love the quote and totally ONE HUNDRED PERCENT agree with it, it’s really hard as a mom to believe it. Being a mom is so difficult, especially when you’re in your 20’s or in that “millennial” category. People tell us everything we are doing wrong with our kids constantly. Instead of embracing the “imperfection is beauty,” I catch myself wishing I was more perfect for my daughter. With that said, I wrote this post a long time ago and didn’t have the strength to post it because of how I thought it would be perceived. So, here it is - why being a millennial mom is so hard.

I woke up at 6am to screaming. The kind of screaming that makes you think someone is being seriously hurt. It’s my daughter’s voice and I immediately run into her room to find poop covering every inch of her toddler bed. In my daze of sleepiness and exhaustion I gather her in my arms and begin to realize that she too, is covered in poop. Into the bathroom I go with my feces-covered, screaming toddler. I know she won’t take a bath at this time of the morning so I hop into the shower with her and let the warm water soak off all elements of nasty from the both of us. After I feel clean (as clean as you can feel after THAT), I bring her into my bed to snuggle up for a bit longer (leaving the stinking mess in her room for later.)

The amount of things in that story that most Baby Boomer moms would find irresponsible or “wrong” is crazy. “Why didn’t I just clean her off instead of dramatically making us both shower? How dare I let her sleep in my bed? Why was she covered in poop in the first place? Didn’t I change her before she fell asleep? Why didn’t I clean up the disgusting bed that was caked in you-know-what?” I can’t keep track of the amount of times I’m told I’m doing something wrong as a mom. Based on the mom blogs and news articles I read, I’m a horrible mother. I’m terrible. I should not be blessed with such an amazing child because according to all of these blogs and headlines, I’m doing it all wrong.

Why is that? Why can’t I let my daughter who just woke up in a panic sleep it off for a bit with me? Why can’t I leave the cleaning for later? It’s simple. Because I’m a millennial parent, which means that everything I do is either lazy or inappropriate or blah blah blah. I’ve got the older generation of moms telling me one thing while the younger generation tells me another. I don’t think we, as millennial moms, can ever win.

Even the fact that I had a daughter at age 25 is wrong to some. “Why didn’t I wait until I was more mature? Why didn’t I wait until I was married? Do you really think you were ready to have a baby?” Just a few of the questions I get asked. No, I don’t think someone is ever ready for a baby, but why does that matter? Like, come on, Janet, were YOU ready to have a baby when you were 19 in 1970? Sorry, had to get bratty for a second. Anyways, no one can truly ever be ready for children, I mean that. It’s not something that you can prepare for, but talking down to us millennials is not going to make us “more ready.” I still don’t think I’m ready to have a baby and my baby is two and a half years old. She survived and she is thriving, so thanks, Janet, keep your opinions to yourself.

Being a millennial mom is the worst because most folks see us as lazy screw-ups that don’t want to grow up. We’re under so much pressure to prove ourselves as moms, but also prove that we can be citizens of society. Older people want us to have the 9-5 job, but also spend 12 hours a day with our children. How is that even possible? Our friends want us to communicate with them too, so don’t forget to try and pencil in a phone call here and there. Oh, and also, society wants you to show yourself and your children on social media so everyone else knows you’re doin all right. And finally, make sure you read every single mom blog to know what organic baby food you’re suppose to be buying. Trust me, I know that being a working parent who keeps up with friends is extremely possible, but the point is, sometimes I’m going to let my daughter eat NON-organic cheerios for dinner. Sometimes cleaning her up means letting the dog lick her face. And sometimes, she is going to scream and throw a tantrum because I won’t let her get the Elsa cup at Target. I’m not going to do everything perfectly, but I’m doing enough.

My daughter is everything to me. Even though I’m a millennial mom and with that comes negativity, she is the one thing that I will never mess up. She says “please” and “thank you” no matter what she’s asking for. She says “bless you” when someone sneezes. She asks to play doctor every time I bang my foot on her high chair, and kisses my knee when I scrape it when we’re playing with chalk. She tries new things and new foods and new activities. She is brave, and she is kind. Isn’t that all we want for our kids? So, I may be a millennial mom, but I think I kind of rock at it.

Xo, J